Thursday 13

Thursday 13 PLUS

THURSDAY 13
13 fun signs from a recent email:

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
 
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
 
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
 
At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit, please back in."
 
 At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."
 
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
 
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
 
On a Church's Billboard:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
 
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
 
At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
 
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
 
In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
 
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
 
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
 
On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
 
  At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet -
 miss a car payment."
 
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
 
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
 
At the Electric Company
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment
However, if you don't, you will be."
 
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry;
 come on in and get fed up."
 
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
 
At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."

And don't forget the sign at a
CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
 

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

WHO KNEW? 13 Old wives tales easy fixes + 5 BONUS fixes

Thank you Janet and Megan for resurrecting it!

1. Eliminate ear mites. All it takes is a few drops of Wesson Corn Oil in your cat's or dog's ear... massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing.
2. Kills fleas instantly...Dawn dish washing Liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Good-bye fleas.
3. Rainy day cure for dog odor: Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh.
4. Did you know that drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately-without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional pain relievers?
5. Did you know that Colgate Toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns?
6. Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose.
7. Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 tablespoon horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil for instant relief for aching muscles.
8. Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.
9. Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly-even though the product has never been advertised for this use.
10. Honey remedy for skin blemishes... cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a Band-Aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight.
11. Listerine therapy for toenail fungus: Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine Mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.
12. Easy eyeglass protection... to prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.
13. Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer... if menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly.
14. Smart splinter remover: Just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue- All over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue.
15. Hunt's Tomato Paste boil cure... cover the boil with Hunt's Tomato Paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head.
16. Balm for broken blisters... to disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine, a powerful antiseptic.
17. Vinegar to heal bruises... soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.
18. Quaker Oats for fast pain relief... it's not for breakfast any more! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain.
    

Thursday 13

Restaurants I'm anxious to go to again

1. Chuy's Mexican Food
2. Pappasitas Cantina
   
3. Spring Creek BBQ
4. Roaring Fork
5. Wildfish Seafood Grille
6. Skeeter's Mesquite Grill
7. Saltgrass Steakhouse
8. Rainforest Cafe
9. House of Blues
10. Boudros Texas Riverwalk Bistro
11. Katz 21 Steak & Spirits
12. Texas Pride BBQ
13. County Line BBQ
    

Thursday 13 ~ Ways to get Sandal ready feet

1. Exfoliate
   
2. Hydrate
   
3. Shape the nails
4. Use a pumice stone
5. Use clear polish regularly
6. Also apply polish to the side edge of the nail also
   
7. Apply healing cream to cracks
8. Push back cuticles
9. Trim hangnails
   
10. Don't go barefoot
11. Relax in a foot bath periodically
12. Let your toes breathe without polish now and then
13. SPA PEDICURE ~ MY FAVORITE!!
    

13 unrelated positive thoughts from old calendar pages...

Thursday Thirteen

1. The Sweetness of life is only noticed if we taste it.
2. Creativity is one of the ways I can put my spirituality into practice.
3. A homemade soup makes winter seem cozy. How long has it been since you made or ate soup? Homemade soups remind us of important times.
4. When I admit my mistakes and make amends for them, I am reclaiming my life.
5. Historically, weekends werer designed to have 2 days of rest and relaxation. Interesting concept!
6. For so many of us, we have struggled for so long that we have become addicted to the struggle. Every once in awhile it is important to stop and see if we are struggling for struggle's sake. We do have options.
7. My grief and pain are mine. I have earned them. They are a part of me. Only in feeling them do I open myself to the lessons they can teach.
8. To live in balance is to own every aspect of our existence, not ignoring anything-the good and the bad-accepting it all, and growing with it.
9. When we are clear about what is important to us, our concept of what is necessary changes.
10. When we look at how our fear of making mistakes has deprived us of many of the most important learnings in our lives, we give thanks that we no longer have to be so fearful of doing something wrong.
    
11. If something is true for us, we must trust that truth. Others may not see or know that truth. That's okay...they may just not be there yet. What is true for another has nothing to do with what is true for us.
12. It is only when we live our life in the open, accept responsibility for the decisions that we have made, and own our behavior that we begin to know health.
13. Happiness is a gift. It comes like a sudden soft breeze on a stagnant day. Let it sit with us for a while. Do not try to hold on to it or it will vanish like a vapor.
    

Thirteen unrelated, but helpful tips...

1. Visine is a fast fix for a sudden break out. It constricts the blood vessels soothing the redness and swelling.
2. Toothpaste will do the same thing.
   
3. Club soda will help loosen a rusty bolt.
4. A club soda dampened cloth used to wipe down chrome faucets will remove water spots and soap scum.
5. Soak your genuine gems in club soda over night and they will sparkle by morning.
6. Rinse your hair in club soda after swimming will prevent chlorine from turning your hair green.
7. 6 cloves of garlic in 2 tablespoons of olive oil cured together for 2 days and then applied to your feet for 7 days will cure athlete's foot.
8. Apply a thin layer of egg white under your eyes. Allow it to dry and rinse with lukewarm water. The amino acids nourish the skin and tighten the pores to reduce inflammation.
9. Kiwi slices are packed with skin smoothing anti-oxidants and vitamin C which soothes puffy skin and lightens dark circles.
10. 2 tablespoons of plain yogurt will soothe a sunburn.
11. 1 tablespoon of plain yogurt will de-spot copper pots. Rub it in and et it sit 5 minutes. Rinse with cool water and buff dry.
12. Substituting yogurt in your favorite dip will reduce the fat by half.
    
13. Harness the power of positive thinking by retraining your brain to focus on what you want, dreaming big, following the golden rule and filtering out the negative.
    

Thursday 13

Thursday Thirteen

I know everybody and their brother got this email, but it was too fun to pass up for a Thursday 13.

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
7. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
8. Bad decisions make good stories.
9. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
10. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes - to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
11. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!),but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
12. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
13. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet, on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Bud Light than with a Kay jewelry product.

Thirteen Food thoughts to think about....

Be sure and read the fine print...

1. If it looks natural but isn't don't eat it.
2. If it's blue and not a blueberry, don't eat it!
3. That goes for cheeto orange too.
4. Ingredients are listed in order of largest to smallest. So where the ingredient falls on the list has a big bearing on its actual nutritional value.
   
5. If a food is artificially colored and flavored, it may not have any nutritional value.
   
6. Potato salad doesn't really count as a salad.
7. Beer doesn't count as part of your daily fluids.
8. The produce aisle is the widest aisle in the store for a reason ~ you should be eating from this aisle the most!
9. The Ice Cream aisle is wide for a different reason. Think about it.
   
10. Items with no nutritional value are not food, they are only entertainment.
11. Be aware where your food comes from.
12. Foods with far out expiration dates was probably altered in a lab.
13. Check it for ingredients. If the list of the ingredients includes names you can't pronounce, it is probably highly processed.

Kitchen & Cooking Tips

1. Using buttermilk as a meat marinade is an effective tenderizer. It also converts the proteins into B vitamins which helps the liver burn up to 38% more stored fat as energy.
2. Adding sour cream to chili will curb the "hotness" of the fiery effect.
3. Adding 1 teaspoon of cornstarch to each 1/4 cup of sour cream acts as a binder and prevents the sour cream from curdling in the heat of the chili.
4. 2 parts instant coffee to 1 part water makes an effective paste for scratching nicks on dark furniture.
5. Bake winter tomatoes for 30 minutes at 350 degrees to achieve that summer flavor. As the tomatoes cook, the sugars caramelize, giving them a sweeter and juicier flavor. Let them cool and then chop and toss with salads, salsas or fruits.
6. For fluffier pancakes, separate the eggs and whip the whites into soft peaks before folding them into the remaining ingredients.
7. Run your knife through a stick of butter before slicing marshmallows for that yam casserole. You won't end up with a sticky residue on your knife.
8. Applying a teaspoon of butter to your cat's paws will help prevent hairballs.
9. Adding a bit of butter to a watermark on your wood table before you go to bed will help replace the lost moisture from the wood. Just wipe away any residue the next morning.
10. Rubbing butter on the edge of your snow shovel will help the snow slide right off as you toss it aside.
11. Rubbing a bit of butter around dusty candles will make them look fresh again.
12. Butter applied to the cut edges of blocks of cheese will prevent molding.
13. Anchovies make a great seasoning for sauces, just a bit salty and spicy all at once. Remember to remove them before serving or mince them so fine that no one notices but you! Also remember a little goes a long way.
    

Soup Terms Defined ~ Thursday 13

1. BISQUE ~ A cream based fish or seafood soup.
   
2. BORSCHT ~ A robust Russian stew made with beets, tomatoes, cabbage and sometimes meat.
   
3. BOUILLABAISSE ~ A classic fisherma's stew made with fish, shellfish, garlic, tomatoes, saffron and fennel.
   
4. CHOWDER ~ comes from the French word Chaudiere which was a type of cauldron used to cook soup for large gatherings. The early American settlers made chowder with household staples like salt pork, local fish, sea biscuits and bread. In the 19th century potatoes replaced the crackers and milk or cream was added because of their rich flavor and great thickening properties.
   
5. GAZPACHO ~ A pureed mixture of summer vegetables including tomatoes, cucumbers and onion.
   
6. GUMBO ~ comes from the African word Quingombo, the word for Okra. A soup from Louisiana that is thickened with okra or sassafras root.
   
7. MINESTRONE ~ A classic vegetable and bean soup from Italy.
   
8. MULLIGATAWNY ~ An Indian soup that contains curried meat or seafood and is smothered in cream or coconut milk.
   
9. POSOLE ~ A traditional Latin American stew with a hearty blend of chile peppers, vegetables, hominy and stock.
   
10. POTAGE ~ means 'special of the day' and is usually made with the freshest of seasonal ingredients.
11. SEVICHE ~ Fresh, raw seafood marinated in an acid like tomato or lemon juice. The acid "cooks" the fish removing the raw taste.
    
12. STEW ~ the browning of small pieces of meat then simmered with vegestables and enough liquid to cover it all.
    
13. VICHYSSOISE ~ A chilled classic French pureed soup made with potatoes, leeks, stock and heavy cream.

Come on over & join us at OuR KrAzY kItChEn tomorrow for our new meme. We're launching it just in time for fall. We want to gather all those great recipes for the cold winter nights that are headed our way.

Tools explained ~ Thursday 13 +2 bonus

I received these in an email and thought I'd offer them up in honor of almost being done with this house. Many of these truly apply to hubby and this house! Especially the last one!

1. DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
2. WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh --'
3. SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
4. PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
5. BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
6. HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
7. VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
8. TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
9. BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
10. PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
11. STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
12. PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
13. HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
14. UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
15. Son of a b*tch TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a b*tch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

Spice & Herb Trivia ~ Thursday 13

#Spice ~ Any of various pungent, aromatic plant substances, such as cinnamon or nutmeg, used to flavor foods or beverages. Something that adds zest or flavor. A pungent aroma; a perfume.
#Herb ~ A plant whose stem does not produce woody, persistent tissue and generally dies back at the end of each growing season. Any of various often aromatic plants used especially in medicine or as seasoning.
#Saffron is the world's most expensive spice. More than 80,000 stigmas have to be harvested by hand to yield just 500 grams.
#Cinnamon originates from Sri Lanka.
# Sesame originates from Africa.
# Basil is a herb, not a spice.
# Dandelion is a natural diuretic.
# Dill water is good for Colic.
# Dill is a spice and a herb.
# While mustard is quite pungent in flavor, it has virtually no aroma.
# Curry is not "A" spice, but a collection of spices.
# Sage Tea is an effective antidote for a sore throat.
# Thyme, Sage, Basil and Pepper were once used as food preservatives before refrigeration because of their anti-bacterial properties.

Thursday 13 ~ ALL ABOUT PEPPER

Thank you Janet and Megan for resurrecting it!

1. Originally from the tropics, pepper is a berry from the vine Piper Nigrum.
2. There are many types of peppers grown all over the world.
   
3. Most of the flavor is lost during cooking.
   
4. Pepper should be added after cooking.
5. Pepper stimulates gastric juices and stimulates digestive processes.
6. Brings out and strengthens the inherent flavor of food.
7. Black and white pepper come from the same vine.
   
8. When first harvested the berries are red, odorless and tasteless.
9. When dried in the sun they become black and spicy.
10. White pepper is made from berries allowed to ripen longer and the berries are soaked (fermented) to remove the outer coating.
    
11. White pepper is less spicy than black pepper.
    
12. It is best to buy whole peppercorns and grind them as needed.
13. Commercial ground pepper is made from a mixture of various peppers.
    

Thursday 13 ~ ALL ABOUT SALT

Thank you Janet and Megan for resurrecting it!
13 things to know about SALT!

1. Sat is NOT a spice.
2. Salt is NOT an herb.
   
3. Salt is NOT a seasoning.
4. Salt is a mineral.
5. Salt is essential to life.
6. Salt is contained naturally in most foods.
   
7. Salt unites the flavors of herbs and seasonings together until they come alive.
   
8. Salt does not actually flavor our food.
   
9. Salt enhances our food.
10. Salt increases the flow of saliva.
    
11. Salt opens the taste buds.
12. Salt releases the juices in foods.
13. Salt stimulates the appetite.

Thursday 13 ~ More Hollywood squares

Thank you Janet and Megan for resurrecting it!

Hollywood Squares: These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

1. Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
2. Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
3. Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
4. Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
5. Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
6. Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
7. Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
8. Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
9. Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
10. Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
11. Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
12. Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

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Thursday 13 `~ Hollywood Squares

Thank you Janet and Megan for resurrecting it!

Hollywood Squares: These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

1. Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
2. Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads underwater long enough.
3. Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
4. Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
5. Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
6. Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
7. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
8. Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
9. Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
10. Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
11. Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
12. Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
13. Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

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Thursday 13 + bonuses ~ Proofreading is a dying art

Thank you Janet and Megan for resurrecting it!

These were in a recent email and good for a laugh or two!

1. Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says (No crap, really? Ya think?)
3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers (Now that's taking things a bit far!)
4. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over (What a guy!)
5. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
6. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
7. War Dims Hope for Peace (I can see where it might have that effect!)
8. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile (Ya think?!)
9. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures (Who would have thought!)
10. Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
11. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges (You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?)
12. Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge (He probably IS the battery charge!)
13. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group (Weren't they fat enough?!)
14. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft (That's what he gets for eating those beans!)
15. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half (Chainsaw Massacre all over again!)
16. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors (Boy, are they tall!)
17. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
    

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Ever wonder??

Thank you Janet and Megan for resurrecting it!

1. Why is it that the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
   
2. Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
3. Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
4. Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
5. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
8. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
9. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
10. You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
11. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
12. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
13. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

♥

Maxine mimics what you'd really like to say to some people...

http://www.thursday-13.com/
Thank you Janet and Megan for resurrecting it!

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